


To Be Free

by MuDrop



Category: Free!, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuDrop/pseuds/MuDrop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In year 845, the Titans invaded Wall Maria, pushing mankind back to the remaining two walls and closer to extinction. A year later, Haruka, Makoto, and Nagisa have joined the military and dedicated their lives to ridding the world of Titans and setting mankind free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> The characters are essentially replacing the characters of SnK as themselves, and the story will loosely follow SnK's up to Trost.   
> EDIT: Okay, so I've changed some things around and want to announce that this will be RinHaru. I couldn't decide what to do with it for a while and kind of lost interest in writing it, but now that I've gained some motivation I'm just going to go with that. So don't read if you don't like that ship! Also, it goes without saying that there will be character deaths, and a lot of them. Thanks for reading!

The smell of burning flesh filled the air. 

It was a distinctive scent, very different than that of anything else when acquainted with fire. If you had never breathed it in, there was no proper way to describe it. The sickeningly thick odor that chocked you as it filled your lungs. Once you had experienced it, you would always be able to identify it. And, of course, after repeated exposure you could adjust, but that was all you could do. It was still something no ever truly got used to. 

Surprisingly, the sight of burning bodies or dead people did not accompany the scent. Smoke covered everything like a translucent blanket; all that was left was the outlines of buildings and slight glimpses of movement from afar. 

And everything was slow. Even screams and shouts were flatter, lower, even the sounds of buildings crumbling, fire crackling, or thump of footsteps seemed distorted. One could say it was a lot like being underwater; you were floating, motionless, listening to the warped sounds and slowly sinking deeper and deeper into nothingness. 

Just a few feet away was a clearing in the smog and, immediately noticeable due to the grey surrounding it, a small butterfly with the most vibrant blue wings you could imagine. The juxtaposition of such a creature perched lightly on the gruesome remains of whoever that had been was enough to make anyone--if there had been anyone--stop and stare. And yet there was something about it that, despite the odd scenery, didn’t seem misplaced in the slightest. 

It was a reminder. A single piece of something beautiful in this ugly, destroyed world. 

It was hope. 

\- 

“Haru. Haru, wake up! Haru!" 

Haru opened his eyes, his gaze focusing on Makoto’s face hovering just above his. He blinked, once. Makoto smiled down at him softly. “You dozed off a bit." 

Haru sat up slowly, his head still foggy from sleep. It took a moment for him to recognize the wooden porch he sat upon, the flicker of light that danced on Makoto’s skin. He took a deep breath, and the air was cool and crisp. 

“Sorry," he mumbled quietly. He remembered now; they had been looking up at the sky, which somehow appeared to be even more incredible now than it had been before. It seemed impossible to Haru that so many stars could actually exist in one place; he’d always thought so, ever since they were kids and had done this very same thing on the roof of their home. Of course, things had changed quite a bit since then and not involving just the setting. 

“Don’t be. You seem so tired lately. I wanted to let you rest, but I think we should go inside now. It’s getting pretty cold..." Makoto's words brought Haru back from his tangent train of thought. He made moves to get up as he said this, but Haru didn’t turn away from the sky. 

“How long was I asleep?" 

“A little over twenty minutes, maybe?" 

Haru still didn’t know what time it was given that information, but judging from the lack of activity in the camp, it was approaching pretty late. All the lights had gone out besides the ever-present torches near every building, and not a single sound could be heard save for the low hum of a breeze as it passed by. Haru breathed in again, feeling Makoto’s inquiring eyes on him but offering no explanation. He didn’t have one, really. 

“Haru…are you alright?" Makoto asked finally. He whispered it, as if not wanting to press but at the same time not wanting to let it go either. To anyone else it might have seemed normal. Haru was always quiet like this; he had troubling explaining his thoughts and feelings to others (hell, even to himself), so he usually avoided trying altogether. Makoto had to be the only person on planet Earth that could tell the difference between Haru’s normal quiet and his upset quiet. 

Welll...one of the only people.

“I had a dream," Haru answered after a pause, letting go of the thought. 

“About what?" 

Haru kept his gaze on the sky, wondering if what we has about to say was stupid or childish, even though he knew Makoto would never think so regardless. “…a butterfly." 

“HARUKAAAAA!" 

Makoto jumped at the sudden outburst to their right, and Haru turned to see someone jogging towards them, waving a lantern about like they were trying to set the entire camp on fire. “HARUKA, I NEED YOU!" 

Haru turned back to the stars, already knowing who it was without having to look. Nagisa, like Makoto, had been his friend since childhood. It was impossible not to know that voice, particularly when it was being broadcast loud enough to wake every Trainee in the general vicinity. He had always been that way; he was noisy and cheerful and ridiculously enthusiastic about most things. Haru couldn’t ever remember a time when he’d been quietly angry or upset; if he had a problem, everyone in the room would know about it immediately. In reality though, that was probably the only reason they ever became friends in the first place; if he hadn’t had the spunk to break into Haru and Makoto’s closed off little world, it probably never would have happened. Rin had had a similar amount of persistence and deep determination...and there were those thoughts again, invading Haru's space. He shook his head slightly. 

“I told you not to call me that," Haru said, but his voice didn’t really sound annoyed. He wasn’t very good at scolding anyway; his words always sounded the same regardless of intent, quiet and apathetic. It was frustrating to only be able to get so little across with words, but that was the way it was. Some people spoke with actions, and some people spoke with words. Nagisa was almost certainly the latter. 

“You’re name is beautiful, Haruka, and you should claim it proud and loud," he replied. It was pretty much the same comeback every time, with a few minor adjustments in motivational suggestions. 

“Is something wrong, Nagisa?" Makoto asked because he knew that names were a tender subject, albeit a frequently discussed one. 

“I need your help." He paused. “Actually, it’s a friend of mine that needs it, but...." 

“Nagisa, if you’re going to ask to steal food again, I’m going to have to stop you right there. Last time we-" 

“No, this is serious," Nagisa cut Makoto off. “He can’t hang still in 3D Maneuver Training. He keeps falling flat on his face, and as you know, the last evaluations are tomorrow!" He turned to Haru, who was examining an oddly shaped leaf next to him on the porch. “Haru, they said you were the best they had ever seen. You were hanging almost completely still! Do you think you could teach him?" 

“…No." 

“What?!" Nagisa exclaimed, loudly. Haru was honestly surprised someone hadn’t come out to ship them off to bed by now. “Why not?!" 

"Too much effort." 

"But Haruka!"

“There’s no secret method to hanging still. There’s nothing for me to teach," Haru said, frowning as the leaf was blown away, just out of his reach. 

“He’s going to get sent away if you don’t help him!" Nagisa warned. When there was no response, he crouched so that his face was in Haru’s line of vision and he could more effectively stare at him grudgingly. “He could be a good soldier, and you’re just going to let him be shipped off to the Development Areas?" 

“There’s nothing I can do about it. You either have the skill or you don’t." 

“Wow, that’s harsh of you. Are you okay, Haruka? You seem a little evil tonight." 

“Who is the person?" Makoto asked calmly. “You didn’t mention that you made any friends here." 

Nagisa stood up, enthusiasm restored as if Makoto had asked the question he had been waiting for. “That’s the best part," he explained. “This guy, he’s one of us." 

“One of us?" Makoto inquired, but Haru already knew where he was going with this. 

“He has a girl’s name, just like us!" 

According to Nagisa,—and he would argue with anyone until the end of time if they tried to tell him differently—their entire friendship was founded on one thing and one thing alone, and that was the fact that they all shared the unique attribute of having a girly name. Nagisa used better words to describe this coincidence, of course—‘fate' seemed to be his favorite—but when it came down to it, Haru and Makoto had bonded over both being mistaken for girls when they were children, and Nagisa and Rin had joined forces later to fight back against the bullying. Haru didn’t remember meeting Makoto or even any days before they had become friends—he had gone to live with his family after the disappearance of his parents and there had scarcely been a day since in which they weren’t together—but he did remember the first time he met Nagisa and Rin. Rin and Nagisa had always fought back against tormentors; they weren’t like Makoto and Haru who had always taken the abuse silently and done nothing to stop it. It was for this reason that Haru remembered being surprised to meet the two of them, fighting back no matter how many kids or how hopeless the odds. 

But that was all before. 

Before Rin had moved away. 

Before the Titans had broken Wall Maria and pushed mankind back into the two remaining walls, Rosa and Sina. Before 20% of the population and 1/3 of their territory was lost. Before the government devised a plan to send the remaining survivors out to fight to retake Wall Maria, actually nothing more than a rosy way cover up for a mass killing to ease the starvation everyone was experiencing. Before Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa had all joined the military and pledged to dedicate their lives to fighting back against the Titans. They were happier days in happier times, and that was that. Now all that remained was the friendship, still one member short. 

“Haru," Makoto said from behind him. He turned to look, not expecting judgment and certainly not finding any. “How about I go try and teach him, and if I need help you can give me a hand?" 

Haru exhaled sharply, looking away from the two of them. He knew this was the way this situation was going to end; Makoto was too altruistic to refuse helping someone regardless of whether they were a stranger, and Nagisa wouldn’t quit even if he did. It’s not that Haru himself was opposed to helping someone, of course, he was simply tired. But if Makoto and Nagisa wanted it, he knew he would end up obliging eventually.

“Fine." 

After a small cry of victory, Nagisa grabbed Haru’s hand before he’d even properly been able to stand and dragged him off towards the grounds they had been training in earlier that day. Plenty of kids had already been accepted into the military for good, others cast out into the Development Areas if their skills in learning to exist in three dimensions instead of two were lackluster. But this was just a precursor—a test to decide who was capable of being trained to be a soldier. Tomorrow was the last day for people to prove themselves. 

Then the real training would begin.


	2. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I had originally wanted to majestically add in little bits of back story at a time, but the entire chapter ended up just being about Makoto and Haru's past and how they ended up in their current situation...orz. I wrote this really late with no proof-reader, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or confusion. Don't heistate to let me know if you catch any.

“Haruka, Makoto; this is Rei," Nagisa gestured theatrically to a boy standing next to one of the contraptions used in training. He was tall and had bluish hair and violet eyes almost as bright as Haru’s blue ones. He was the first person Haru had seen around who wore glasses, and he noticed that he had already been given a pair that wrapped around the back of his head similarly to goggles, so that they wouldn’t be lost as he was flying through the air. 

If he makes it that far, that is, Haru couldn’t help but think to himself. Unfortunately for this boy, Haru found it hard to believe that someone who couldn’t manage such a simple exercise would make a very good soldier. All that was required was that you remained upright when the lever was pulled and you were lifted off the ground. You were then to attempt to hang as still as possible, but Haru saw more than a few Trainees swinging and still passing the test. Skills could be improved, there just had to be a base for them to grow on. If he couldn’t pass this test, there would be no base, and he would be sent to the Development Area for sure. 

Rei awkwardly nodded to them both and then fidgeted some more, clearly embarrassed at having to ask a stranger’s help for something like this. It was probably made exceptionally worse by the fact that the three of them were considered to be some of the best of the lot this year. Haru was sure that he was aware of that fact, judging by the amount of rumors he himself had heard being passed around.

Rei spoke hesitantly, “After thinking it over carefully, I thought maybe my size was to blame-" 

“It’s not," Haru interrupted, somewhat rudely. “Makoto was able to hang almost completely still, and he’s taller than you." 

The situation became uncomfortable rather quickly. Rei rubbed the back of his neck, looking despairingly at the ground, and even Nagisa it seemed couldn’t come up with a way to make that sound any better. Haru hadn’t been trying to offend him; the comment was strictly to defend Makoto (Haru didn’t even know why he’d suddenly become so defensive in the first place), but his poor social skills had done a fair job of ruining the atmosphere and he couldn’t really think of a way to fix it. 

And so Makoto, as he had done so many times before, took control of the situation in order to avoid impending disaster. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Rei. Why don’t you go ahead and give this a try? Maybe the problem was that you were nervous while being watched by so many people. I don’t know about you, but it was definitely hard for me to focus." 

Rei seemed to consider this before pushing up his glasses in affirmation. “Yes! That could very well have been it…I was nervous, after all." 

Haru eyed Makoto out of the corner of his eye and watched as he smiled encouragingly, even offering to help Rei up on the contraption. Nagisa was already over at the lever, ready to get started. Haru slinked away a few feet, leaning against the machine to the right. 

He worried about them. 

They were the same as they had always been despite what they’d been through, and it made Haru worry. Makoto was willing to help anyone in need, regardless of his own safety. Nagisa was better at prioritizing, but even he sometimes lost sight of the main goal. Evidence enough to this was how they were now, encouraging and smiling at this stranger who would probably be better off going to the Development Areas anyway. Haru couldn’t help but wonder: were they helping him or hurting him in the long run? But he was sure that thought didn’t cross their minds. He was sure that thought probably didn’t cross anyone’s mind here…

Haru and Makoto were some of the only few in camp who had actually seen a Titan. Their home had resided in Shiganshina, the first city to be hit when the Colossal Titan had loomed over the 50 meter wall and destroyed it, allowing the other Titans to infiltrate and demolish everything in their paths. Makoto and Haru had been outside when it happened; they had seen the Colossal Titan, or rather a giant, skinless face peering menacingly over the wall. Makoto had acted before anything even happened; he had grabbed Haru’s arm and took off towards their home, not looking back as Haru did. It was as if he had known in advance just how quickly everything would fall into chaos, and he had been right. As soon as the wall was breached and the Titans began to enter, all Hell broke loose. 

Their house was too close to the gate that was now a hole in the wall and too far from the gate into Wall Maria, so they had known from the start that they would have to move, and do so quickly. Makoto had one little brother and one little sister, both of whom had been in different places during the attack. The only people home had been his father and mother, and neither of them seemed to grasp the situation, even after the wall had been hit. Haru remembered clearly standing outside the house, his eyes on what had been their only promise of safety for so long, listening as the screams around him grew louder and more frequent. He saw the first Titan and then the second, both wandering with sick smiles on their faces, crashing through buildings. He witnessed the first Titan grab hold of a woman, and he still couldn’t even bring himself to look away even as it devoured her whole. He was frightened, so scared that he felt sick. His heart was pounding and he wondered if he was going to die, but it only took a moment of panic for him to snap into survival mode and realize what must be done. 

Inside the house, Makoto was trying desperately to get his parents to leave with them. His mother didn’t want to go without her children, and how could she? She was convinced that, if she waited here, they would come home and then they could all leave together. 

“We’re running out of time," Haru had said, and it was the first line that seemed to register in her mind just how dire the situation was. Makoto had been trying to handle it in a kind, calm manner, but by doing so he had denied them the ability to see clearly.

“If we don’t leave now, we’re going to die," Haru said firmly. It was strange to say the words; it wasn’t that he thought about them. They just kept repeating again and again in his mind. His body was telling him to move, that they were in danger. Get to the gate, get to the gate, get to the gate… 

It wasn’t until later that he realized exactly what he was asking of them all. Asking of himself, really, because those children had been Haru’s siblings too, people that he had eaten every meal with and shared many laughs with. People that he loved. And he was suggesting—no, demanding—that they leave them behind and save themselves. 

And in the end they had no choice. But not all of them made it to the gate. 

By the time they left their house, the Titans had already advanced well into Shiganshina. They were surrounded. People were running around in terror, unattended children were crying in the streets. Fires had broken out and smoke now filled the air, making it even more difficult to choose a safe path out of there. 

That was the first time he would smell it. The burning flesh.

“This way!" Makoto’s father shouted, pointing to a route that avoided a Titan to their left a few streets over. He ran ahead as Makoto put an arm around his mother, who was sobbing and struggling to cope with the fact that she was forsaking her two youngest. Haru followed behind them, struggling to keep his mind focused on escape alone.

By the time they neared the corner, however, they heard a horrified scream. It was followed quickly by a yell and then, “STOP!" 

They kept going though, not letting the message register until it was too late. At the end of the road was a Titan, a small one that they had no way of seeing over the building, grinning down at them, and holding Makoto’s father in its hand. He had run straight into it. He had run straight into his death. 

Makoto’s mother screamed and lunged towards him on instinct, but Makoto held her back. He looked away and went on ahead, shielding his mother’s eyes. But Haru once again watched, frozen, as the man who he had come to think of as a father was stuffed into the Titan’s mouth. 

Makoto called his name, snapping him out of his trance. He hadn’t realized until then, but tears had been streaming down his cheeks. But he was once again forced to push away his fear and focus on survival. 

They made it to the boats somehow and got to witness yet another horror when the Armored Titan, as they were now calling it, burst through Wall Maria. It seemed like nothing was safe anymore. People on the ships sobbed and screamed. People off the ships begged to be let on, for at least their children to be taken so they wouldn’t have to die here with those unfortunate enough to not have boarded before it became full. Everyone was convinced they were going to die. That it was the end of everything and they were powerless to stop it. 

All Haru heard around him for what seemed like an eternity was Makoto’s mother’s crying and horrified whispers of “It’s the end" or “They’re going to eat us all." There was a ringing in his ears and fogginess in his mind that kept him from processing things properly. The only thing that seemed to penetrate the numbness was Makoto’s voice, asking him if he was okay or to say something, or putting his hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

Eventually the remaining survivors made it Wall Rose, which remained secure, but things didn’t get any better. There wasn’t enough space for all of them, and more importantly, there wasn’t enough food. People starved to death in the streets. People got sick from grief and lack of energy to keep up their health. Makoto’s mother lost her life here, babbling day and night about her lost children, whispering things that made people start accusing her of being mad. She died of a sickness that came from starvation, and there was nothing Haru or Makoto could do about it. They never found any of his siblings, either. 

For a while they seemed to remain in a state of numbness. Haru didn’t remember this part well; everything had felt like a dream. They had slept a lot. Or rather, they had sat and stared into nothing. It was too much effort to do anything; they didn’t have the energy even to speak anymore. They lost a lot of weight. Haru found himself wondering once again if they would meet their end like this. He couldn’t help but think of it as pitiful, to survive all of that chaos only to die in the streets like an animal because they weren’t getting enough bread. 

This is when the government decided to launch a “campaign to take back Wall Maria", or at least that’s what they referred to it as. The remaining refugees were either sent to work in farms like Haru and Makoto, or sent out on this campaign to reclaim Wall Maria. Hundreds of thousands lost their lives in what everyone knew from the start was simply a massacre. And it worked. At least for a time, food was more generously given. 

Haru and Makoto began to get a handle on their grief after that, and thus they slowly came back to life. They didn’t say much because there wasn’t anything to talk about, but after a few days of recovery, Makoto stated the words that would be their future: 

“Haru. I want to join to military." 

“Okay. I’ll go, too," Haru said immediately. He had known that Makoto had been pondering something the last few days, so it didn’t come to a surprise to him that this was the result. He didn’t think about what it would mean to join the army. He didn’t care, really. All he knew was that he needed to be doing something. And if this was what Makoto wanted, it was good enough for him. 

“No," Makoto protested. “It’s dangerous—I couldn’t stand it if something-" 

“If you’re joining the military, then I’m joining the military. I go where you go. You already know that." The words came out more coldly then expected. Makoto looked a bit startled, and Haru turned his face away to avoid his eyes. It was quiet for a moment after that, in which Haru closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. “Besides…" 

He looked down at the cracked ground, feeling his eyes sting. “You’re all I have left." 

The sky was the same on that night as it had been tonight. Full of bright stars, all crammed into the same place. Makoto turned his head slightly so that he could rest it against Haru's, inhaling deeply. It was a strange touch, but only because Haru couldn't remember the last time he'd been touched at all. Even someone as close to him as Makoto kept his distance; that was the kind of vibe Haru gave off. There was only one person he'd ever met who completely disregarded Haru's need for distance and that person...Rin...was most likely gone by now, just like all the rest. Nagisa, Rin, Makoto's siblings... How did they die? Alone and afraid or with their families? Haru didn't know that he'd ever find out, and that was the saddest thing. 

“You’re right," Makoto whispered. “I’m sorry. We’ll join together."

\- 

Haru’s thoughts were interrupted by an eruption of clapping. It appeared that Rei had managed to at least stay upright, although he was still pretty lousy, wobbling back and forth like a toddler trying to walk for the first time. Still, it would be enough to get him into the training for good. It looked as thought he wouldn’t be sent to the Development Areas after all. 

Did he, like Haru, know what awaited them once they completed this training and were sent out into the real world? Did he know what Titans were really like, not just going by what the stories and rumors told? 

It had been a whole year since the attack of the Titans on Shiganshina, and Haru still heard the screams and dreamed of men and women and children being gruesomely eaten right before his eyes. He wouldn’t ever forget. And that’s why he made a vow to himself to eliminate as many Titans as he could manage in his lifetime. 

It wasn’t for revenge or out of anger. It was for freedom. 

Because only when every last Titan was eliminated would mankind truly be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter most of the other characters will be introduced and things will hopefully start to get going. Again, your feedback would be very much appreciated! Let me know if I'm on the right track...


End file.
